Trust

“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Trust, -noun: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

~I trust God. If someone were to ask me if I believe in the integrity, strength and ability of God, I would answer with certainty that yes I surely do. At least I do a great job of convincing myself of it. However, when I make a decision, I don’t very often stop to run it by God. I almost always take the time to run it by people though; my husband, my best friend, my mom. When something upsets me, yes I do pray, or consider praying. In most cases though, I pick up my phone, I call my husband, or my mom or my dear friend Katie or Amber. Instantly, I feel better by their love and strength. Their advice means everything to me. Whoa. How scary is that? It sounds an awful lot like I trust people more than God. Is it because people have proved to be a better source of strength, trustworthiness, and advice? Certainly not. Is it because of instant gratification, (such a scary phenomenon in our culture) the tangible, unmistakable and immediate comfort? Yes, I believe it is.

It is so hard to follow through on a trust that we can’t always clearly see the results of. We are asked to rely on and trust in Jesus above all else. “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” John 14:1 NIV. The very act of believing in God involves trust. To believe is to trust, to have confidence in. He is so worthy of it. He wants the very best for us, and we truly cannot change what he has planned for us in this life. It isn’t instant though. There are seasons of complete confusion, a transition with nothing to transition to. We are asked to lie in wait, to wait upon the Lord for His perfect answer. When the Israelites were led out of slavery in Egypt they surely thought the Promised Land was right around the corner. They were being saved! But no, they had to wander the desert for 40 years before they could enter the land the Lord had promised them. If we wait upon the Lord, we will never lose out, He follows through on every promise He makes. “The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food at the proper time.” Psalm 145: 13b-15 Deep down I think we all know this, but Satan has a horrible way of planting a seed in our mind that takes root in the part of our brain that demands things to happen instantly. I would love to patiently wait and trust on God, but I often find myself panic stricken. I feel as if I am sitting idly by watching opportunities disappear, and if I took matters into my own hands I would be all set. I would have that job that just happens to be hiring, I would know I am taking care of myself. No one could call me lazy. Plus, how do I know that the little voice in my mind isn’t just me trying out different theories, or even worse, or maybe the same, is Satan trying to control my fate? I believe that this is one of the devils most deceiving and terrifying lies; that maybe that inkling isn’t the Holy Spirit, and you never really will know. I brought this subject up with a wise friend of mine, who very insightfully said “I just find that I have to ask Him to open and close doors for me”. How simple. I have been testing this theory in my own life since she offered the advice only a week ago. I have never felt more at peace. The worry that I may not get the memo from God is almost all but gone. I have seen at least one door close, and the fact that the door closing didn’t sadden me shows that He does have a greater plan. A few doors have opened, one just barely a crack and I’m still waiting for the invitation to step through it. The other was only a seed planted in my heart almost a year ago, that grew even more 8 months ago, and became a door pushed open by His doing in early August. Through a sad and difficult decision, an unexpected door slamming shut, I was given the chance to finally walk through that new door. I entered the Pregnancy Care Center on Tuesday for the very first time, and as the volunteer coordinator spoke to me about how she came to be at the center, I felt such a sense of certainty wash over me that I almost couldn’t hear her words. Events from the whole span of my life were flashing through my mind like God was saying to me “Rachel, remember this? And this? And this thing that happened before you were even born? This is why. I have wanted you here since I created you”. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” Jeremiah 1:5a NIV. In light of this I ask myself, how could I not trust? He knows me better than anyone else, and His integrity is perfect. When I don’t trust it causes Him pain, and I am constantly guilty of that. I will admit that I may hold a grudge when I am not trusted, and at the very least, I will never forget it. Jesus does though. He forgives, and as if that isn’t enough, He forgets. And we are given the chance over and over again to say we trust in Him, only to obliterate that statement with a phone call to a friend that takes precedence over calling out to Him.

Today I am challenging myself and you to call Him first, to trust Him, and to wait PATIENTLY. If I call you, you are welcome to gently ask me first if I have called on Him yet. Encouragement from people is a beautiful thing and it has its place. But it comes last, and He comes first. Only He knows what is best for me. There is a reward for our trust in Him, and it is joy.

“Oh, the joys of those who trust in the Lord” Psalm 40:4a NLT

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 NLT

Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly

When I was in High School I read a book by Jennifer Donnelly called A Northern Light. It was brand new at the time, and it was her only book. It was one of the very first historical novels I read, and it may even be the very book that sparked my love of historical fiction. I was so bummed it was her only book. Since then she has written two historical novels Tea Rose and Winter Rose, but I had no idea until now. (I can't wait to read them!)

Over a month ago we received the fall Kids Indie Next Picks List at work. The top book happens to be a brand new Young Adult novel by Jennifer Donnelly, and I had to wait weeks to get my hands on it. So naturally, I finished it in 4 days!

Revolution is about Andi, a 17 year old senior at a prestigious art academy in Brooklyn. She is a rebellious, wounded person because of her younger brothers death which sparked a series of events that completely unraveled her family. Her brother died, her dad left, and her artist mother couldn't cope so she went numb to the world. Andi deals with her pain through her music and drugs.

When her father receives a call from her school informing him that she is neglecting her senior thesis, and failing school, he decides to take her with him to Paris for her 3 week Christmas break so she can work on her thesis. Once in Paris, Andi learns that her geneticist father is there to help his historian friend  identify whether a preserved heart believed to belong to the son of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette really did belong to the lost prince of France. Andi becomes emotionally involved in the research when she learns that Prince Louis-Charles was trapped in a tower during the Revolution and basically starved to death. He was the same age as her brother when he died.

Andi stumbles across an old diary that belonged to a young girl, Alexandrine, who was hired by Marie Antoinette to be a companion for young Louis-Charles during the Revolution. Alex wrote the diary in the last few months that she and Louis-Charles were alive. At the time, Louis-Charles was imprisoned in a tower and she was doing everything she could to try to save him. As Andi reads the diary she becomes increasingly attached to it and to the young prince.

Donnelly has written another fabulous historical novel. She weaves plenty of fictional characters and events into it, while at the same time immersing her audience in Revolution period France. She also writes a lot about music because Andi is a guitar player. I found it very entertaining and educational. Andi was not a character I felt like I could relate to, and the book did feel a little young at times. But it's perfect for High School. And still a very good read for anyone.

Buy a Jennifer Donnelly novel

Mennonite in a Little Black Dress

A few days ago I finished reading Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, a memoir written by Rhoda Janzen. It's nothing like the books I normally choose to read. However, it sucked me in, entertained me, made me think, and introduced me to a whole new genre that I think I'm going to love. Long story short, I'm so glad I picked it up.

I first noticed this book because the cover draws your eye with it's bright turquoise color and oxymoron-esque title :) Then I started to notice a lot of people looking at it and talking about it. I became curious, so I did what anyone would do and read the back. Rhoda, a professor of Literature at Hope college here in Michigan, was left by her husband at the age of 43. Here's the kicker... he left her for a man named Bob whom he met on Gay.com. And in the days following she was involved in a bad car accident that left her in very rough shape. Broken-hearted and broken-boned, she takes a sabbatical and travels back to her Mennonite family to recover.

I decided I would buy it for my mom for Christmas. Then I decided I couldn't wait that long and I would just buy it for her for the heck of it. Then I picked it up to scan the first few pages. Next thing I knew I was 2 chapters in and dying to read some more. Rhoda is hilarious. The spin she manages to put on the horrible events in her life is admirable and extremely entertaining. The way she describes her matter-of-fact, straight-laced Mennonite mother makes you want to be a part of the family. And her raw vulnerability and honesty trick you into feeling like her closest friend at times.

While the book was entertaining and very funny, I did find that it was hard for me at times. But maybe that is the reason why I liked it so much. I felt challenged by Rhoda.I often say that learning from the people and things you disagree with is healthy and necessary to developing your own views and opinions; but I find that I don't take the time to challenge myself as much as I should. I did not read this book expecting to be challenged, but I was, and I appreciate that. Rhoda was raised in such an extremely conservative environment that once she was on her own she completely rebelled. She is a very liberal and very skeptical person. She is very intellectual, career minded, and maybe a bit feminist. There were times I found myself annoyed with her, along with times that I admired her. I was able to agree wholeheartedly with her in one paragraph, and totally disagree in the next. But at the end of the book I found that I really respect this woman. Instead of hating her ex-husband and blaming him for what he "did to her", she reflects on what she did and what she can do to improve herself and her future relationships. She casts out negativity and clings to her optimism. Way to go Rhoda!

On top of all that, she gives her audience a history lesson on Mennonites and an intimate peek into their personal lives, and their recipes!

Read it, its very good.

Buy Mennonite in a Little Black Dress

Banned Books Week 2010

I would guess that not many people know that this week is Banned Book Week. I had the fun job of looking up banned books and creating a window display with the most fascinating books on the list. Here are a few I'm sure you are familiar with...

Huckleberry Finn by Twain
The Catcher in the Rye by Salinger
Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck
Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling
Twilight by Stephanie Meyer
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
The Color Purple by Alice Walker

Here's another list that you may not have thought of...    

My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Anne Frank the Diary of a Young Girl
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkein
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein

And my top 3 favorite banned books (because of the odd reasons they were banned):

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
"Not easy to figure out why this one was banned, but it may have been that the strongest woman character marries a boring and much older man--counter to feminism."

The Merriam Webster Dictionary!!
"Banned in a California elementary school in January 2010 for its definition of oral sex. "It's just not age appropriate," a district representative said."

And finally,
Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See
"This beloved children's book was banned in January 2010 by the Texas Board of Education because the author has the same name as an obscure Marxist theorist, and no one bothered to check if they were actually the same person."

I hope this list has been as interesting to you as it was to me :)

Juliet by Anne Fortier

Juliet is one of those books that probably won't get the attention it deserves. It was published in August and I was immediately intrigued by the description of it. But the cover made me skeptical because it  features a large red rose, which yells "corny love story" at anyone who picks it up. DON'T LET IT FOOL YOU!

I was completely hooked from the very first chapter. Julie Jacobs is an average 25 year old woman, who finds out that she is anything but average after her Great Aunt, and guardian, passes away and leaves her a letter, a safety deposit key, and a passport with her picture... but a different name. She learns that after her mother died in Italy, her Aunt Rose changed her name and brought her to America to shelter her, and her twin sister, from a dangerous secret. Julie, now Gulietta Tolomei, must go to Italy to see what her mother left behind for her.

Julie happens to be descended from the Juliet who inspired the famous Shakespeare play "Romeo and Juliet" and she is the first ancestor to have the exact same name. Her mother had planned it that way after convincing herself that the famous curse upon the two households was still at work centuries later. Julie is the only person capable of ending the deadly curse, but piecing together the facts she needs to do it, proves to be extremely difficult and very dangerous. The only way to ultimately end the curse is to find her Romeo, but who can she trust??

Anne Fortier has packed this fascinating historical novel full of twists and turns that kept me turning pages long after I should have been asleep!! She goes back and forth between the original Gulietta's story in 1340, and the modern day Gulietta's story constantly ending each chapter with cliffhangers that force you to read 2 more to find out what happens next! Every time I thought I knew what was really going on she'd throw in another twist to always stay one step ahead of me.

I loved everything about this book and I really hope people read it and LOVE it!! It combines history, romance, suspense and mystery and it's all set in Siena, Italy! I guarantee you will want to go there when you're done!!

Buy Juliet